I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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