Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
