Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
