I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
