Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
