is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
