spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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