just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
