i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
