I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
