I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
