Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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