Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
