Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
