Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Randomize
