SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
