I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
