At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
