...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
