ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
