wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
