We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
