If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that's an acceptable place to lick
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
