i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
