I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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