That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
