And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
