I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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