I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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