Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
