just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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