I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
