We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
