just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
