Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
