i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
