arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
