on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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