At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
