well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
