She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Randomize
