I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
