i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
