Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
