i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
