office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
