when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
