My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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