so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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