Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
love makes seman taste better
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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