Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got inside last night via doggy door
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
