And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
