ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
